"Poo Paws": Capt. Nap's Cure for Fatigue

Oh, Captain Nap.

"What?" 

This is Napoleon (of recent "Thank You for Vomiting, Napoleon" fame). He's saved the day again! You'll recall, I have him to thank for feeling too ill to eat a bag full of Butterfingers. This morning, he cured my fatigue! Clearly, this cat is an MS miracle waiting to be discovered by the medical community. Here's what happened:

I had just had my Dr. Swank-approved breakfast (the same as yesterday; I'm a creature of habit/too lazy to be creative at 7:30 a.m.) and went upstairs to do...something important, I'm sure. There was Capt. Nap, curled up on my bed, cute as can be. He stretched and rolled over upon seeing me, even letting out a small meow as if to say, "Hi! Come lie down for a sec. You look like you could use a rest." (I know that's a lot to interpret from a small meow, but you'll have to trust me on this.)

Because I didn't want to be rude, I hopped on top of the bed and curled up next to the good captain. As I was lying there, I began to notice a strange, unpleasant smell.

"Hmmm," I thought. "Could I have a brain tumor?"

How else to explain this out-of-nowhere smell? Let's check in with our friend Napoleon. He had begun flexing his paws in that adorable way cats have when they are super-content, and as I was about 1.2 millimeters from said paws, I noticed something on those charming little appendages. Something that looked like...POO. Yes, friends, Capt. Nap had "poo paws" (PPs).

Despite recent, published evidence to the contrary, Napoleon is not a disgusting cat. These incidents have been aberrations. He's really quite neat and tidy. The reason for this story is to illustrate how he cured my fatigue. See, I reared back from the PPs and seized (gently) the cat. I marched (carefully) downstairs and proceeded to wipe off the offending appendages, for which he was enormously grateful. I then stuffed the bedding, pillows, and clothes I was wearing straight into the washer. After all of this, my fatigue and any thoughts of napping had vanished. My little MS miracle cat, Napoleon! He doesn't know it, but he's helping me.

As for my diet (sorry for getting sidetracked), yesterday was another Day of Success!!!! In addition to the already-mentioned breakfast, I had 2 toasted crumpets with 4 teaspoons of peanut butter (Smuckers' all-natural variety, because it was the only one I could find that didn't have hydrogenated oils), plus a few random snacks, such as a banana and some grapes. For dinner, I tried Pistou, from the Swank Diet Book. Pistou, apparently, is the French version of pesto. It had, among other things, potato, carrots, onion, pasta, zucchini...all in all, another simple-to-make and tasty-to-eat dinner. The recipe made 8 servings, so we'll  be having that again tonight.

So far, today is shaping up to be Day 3 of successful dieting. For breakfast, you'll be astonished to learn, I had the SAME DAMN THING I had on Days 1 and 2. For lunch, well, 7 Triscuits and smoked salmon, plus, um, 2 toasted crumpets and peanut butter. At least I'm consistent. Dull, but consistent.