If you have multiple sclerosis, you know it pretty well sucks. With its freaky symptoms, it sucks even more for your garden-variety hypochondriac. And...that's me: a hypochondriac with MS. Seems like fodder for an amusing blog. At the very least, it might keep me from sitting here analyzing every twitch and weird sensation.
I'm sitting here browsing through the Swank Diet Book (SDB), deciding what to make for dinner. Well, that makes me sound more organized than I really am. In fact, I am noting all the ingredients I'll need to get at the store tonight after my husband gets home (my car battery died).
We've agreed, via text messages, on seafood. I've noted in the SDB many, ummm, interesting recipes, such as:
Salmon Loaf II (yes, there is a Salmon Loaf I)
Tuna Balls (hahahaha)
Okay, those don't sound so delicious, but there really are some promising recipes, and I've picked out ingredients to make Baked Fish au Chablis. It has French words in it -- surely a good sign!
While thumbing through the SDB, I paused to read a section in the beginning of the book on fatigue. As Dr. Swank refers to it, an "old unwelcome 'friend.'" Darn tootin', Dr. S.! Fatigue is one of those delightful "invisible" symptoms. Whenever I say, "I'm too tired to do [fill in the blank]," I feel as if the person I say it to (usually my husband) will have a flash of irritation.
"Oh, she's TIRED again. Sure. She hasn't done much today; why the hell is she tired?" he might think.
Let me be clear: he's never said anything resembling that, or even made an exasperated face (at least, not while I'm looking). He's incredibly patient and kind. So it's probably my guilty conscience that fills my head with such worries. See, I remember when I wasn't tired so often; when we used to go hiking and out to parties -- sometimes staying out 'til the wee hours! I worry that he'll eventually get sick of being with someone who's, well, sick. So that's a large part of the reason I decided to do this diet. I want to have more energy, remain mobile, feel enthusiastic again when he suggests going out on a Saturday night. I don't expect it to cure me, I just hope it will help me feel better. Lots better. And I'm most assuredly ready to make my relationship with that old unwelcome "friend" fatigue a lot less familiar.
p.s. I'd be remiss in my duties as a hypochondriac if I didn't say that of COURSE I've suspected my fatigue is related to a lurking deadly disease. But just in case I'm among the 80% of MS patients who experience fatigue, I'll try to remain rational about it. :)