Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Tofurkey Round 2: A Hideous Mistake?

Call me a glutton for punishment, but god help me, I did it again: I sampled another item from the Tofurkey line of vegan treats. You may recall my first experiment, detailed in the post "What the *(&$ Did I Just Eat?" If you haven't read it, and you can't tell from the title, I'll give you a clue: it sucked. So, you may be wondering (and rightly so), why on earth would I try Tofurkey AGAIN?

That's precisely what I was asking myself last night, as I hauled out the Tofurkey "Italian sausage," which I was planning to add to pasta sauce. Before you ask, yes, I am on medication that may affect my judgment. Heavily medicated or not, as I investigated the package I thought, "Looks harmless. And it can't POSSIBLY be as bad as the pizza, right?" (See blog post "The Beginning" for my thoughts on people who make foolish proclamations such as the preceding.)

Hey! This doesn't look too bad! 

I wasn't a total idiot. I hadn't entirely forgotten the horror that was the pizza. This time I was planning to disguise the Gourmet, Meatless, and Delicious! "sausage" with onion, spinach, and lots and lots of tomato sauce. First step: slice the "sausage." It was starting to look a bit less appealing at this stage:

Oh, dear. Maybe this was a mistake.

The "sausage" was resting in an off-putting puddle of orange-y oil, and as I sliced it I detected a texture I had to force myself not to think about. Let's just hurry past this part and get this thing in the pan, my judgment-impaired, medicated self said to myself. Once it's covered with onions and spinach and sauce, it will be better. Into the pan with you, Mr. Sausage Swimming in Orange Oil! Now that does, indeed, look better:

If you squint a bit, it actually resembles sausage! 
Next step was to stir in some spinach and add some tomato sauce, which I did before I even dared to try the concoction. Gingerly, I raised a spoonful to my mouth and...it wasn't bad. It would fool no one who has eaten gen-u-wine Italian sausage, but it definitely was not bad. In fact, I ate the entire plate, as did my husband. So, in my book, this recipe counts as a Swank Success!

Today, I'm hitting the store to get some items for a new Swank recipe, so be looking for a report soon.

Until then!
Ms. CrankyPants


14 comments:

  1. I can't eat that stuff...you are brave. Why not just use ground real turkey or chicken breast?

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  2. That, Karen, is an excellent question. One for which I do not have a good answer. I think the turkey has to be specially ground, to ensure no bad bits get in, right? If so, then it's just because I haven't gotten the nerve to ask the butcher about it yet. But, yes, we can (and just talked about) use chicken breast; especially on pizza. We're going to try a BBQ chicken pizza, in fact, one of these days real soon.

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    1. Get yourself a meat grinder and do it yourself! Just buy turkey or chicken breasts. It's not hard, a bit messy maybe... You can make sure you are using the best meat, and add the spices that you like. I got a manual hand grinder cheap at a flea market.

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    2. Ahhh, another exciting gadget to add to my kitchen supplies; I love that idea -- thanks! It's so great to hear from someone who's been-there-done-that (and sorry for that corny expression).

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  3. Hilarious. Can't wait for our next get-together so I, too, can share in the fun. Though for R & me not sure what would be worse: the fake sassage, the onion or the SPINACH! Ha ha!

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    1. That's the trick, MK - I'll just load up your plate with items even MORE offensive, and suddenly, the fake sassage will look damn good! :)

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  4. Yes! Sausage disguised as sausage!
    Glad this dish worked out for you.
    Eat on my friend. Eat on.

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    1. Ha! Yes, that's about it.

      nom nom [eating]

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  5. dude can you eat wheat, just no meat?
    i have an awesome pizza recipe. Vegetables only.
    You want it?

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    1. YES! I would love it. I can eat white meat but no cheese (forever) or red meat (for a year). Wheat = no problemo, dude!

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  6. I am glad that this one didn't live up to the skinny portions bean turd label. No cheese forever would break my heart. As a vegetarian no meat is not an issue, but no cheese... You can probably hear my howls from there. You are very, very brave.

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    1. You know, I believe I did hear your howling! And I blamed it on the innocent cats...

      Yes, the "sausage" was a vast improvement over the "pizza." I agree, no cheese and no chocolate (!!) are much, much harder than no meat. Sigh.

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  7. Replies
    1. I have some leftover! I don't think it EVER goes bad. Send me your address and I'll pop it in the mail! :)

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