Showing posts with label zzzzz. Show all posts
Showing posts with label zzzzz. Show all posts

Monday, March 11, 2013

The Cure for Writer's Block, a Filthy Bathroom, Soiled Laundry, and Much, Much More!

Friends! Romans! Countrymen....oh, wait, that's another blog post entirely. Sorry.

Friends! Romans (sure, why not?)! Fellow MS Bloggers! Lend me your ears (and some cash, if you're feeling especially generous -- HAHAHAHA! Watch out, David Letterman!). I've found the cure for writer's block! Ms. CrankyPants' Cure for Writer's Block (TM) is best illustrated with a picture of the item that today compelled me to:

  1. Do several loads of laundry
  2. Wash the shower curtain (had a bit of a mildewy smell, you know?)
  3. Vacuum (okay, it was the Roomba, but still)
  4. Clean the birdbaths
  5. Refill the birdfeeders
  6. Check the birdhouses for evidence of new nests
  7. Shred some documents
  8. Take a shower
  9. Clean the bathrooms
  10. Compose this brand-new post (breaking my week-long absence)

So, without further ado:

[&^*&(! photo is upside-down; please bear with me]

So, without further ado, take 2:

[Picture is now sideways; I wish I were doing this for comedic effect but I'm quite simply not.]

Ta-da (third time's always a charm!):

F*** it! I'll post the sideways one too; it's easier to read.
How incredibly annoying. This Blogger program makes adding pictures a bit...challenging. I'm willing to consider that it may be me, but only half-heartedly.
Anyway, this miraculous book, all 600 pages of it, forced me to do the nine chores above, as well as sit down to write a post. Why? Do you really need to ask? Okay, because on my to-do list today was Work Out a Savings and Investment Strategy. Are you asleep yet? Yes, it's an important task, blah blah, but FOR THE LOVE OF PETE it's boring! Even this jaunty-looking supplemental tome didn't help:

TK, if you're reading this, I...well, I'm sorry I never returned this book. I haven't read it, either, if that helps.
There's nothing quite like an appallingly dull task that makes other, slightly less dull tasks seem suddenly oh-so important. Plus, the ones I tackled provided immediate delightful results. Birds are now bopping around my feeder and no longer turning up their beaks at the birdbaths; I have clean underwear; the shower curtain no longer smells like a damp towel forgotten in the trunk of the car last week; I can walk around the house without having peculiar crumbs (at least, I hope they're crumbs) attach themselves to the soles of my feet; I can drop my toothbrush in the sink without feeling as if I should immediately boil it; the list goes on and on. What do I get from reading the two...zzzzzzzzzzz....oh, dear, sorry! I dozed off. Where was I? Oh, right. What do I...zzzzzzzzz. Blast! Sorry, this IS rude. Must.Stay.Awake. Maybe a separate paragraph will help.

Ah, yes. So, what do I get from reading the two books? Well, sure, a carefree retirement filled with traveling and, er, traveling and, ummm, well, you know. Stuff retired people do. Not worrying about money. And in my position -- someone with a massively expensive and progressive disease -- financial security is something I must take seriously. And plan for. Like, yesterday.

So these books are sitting right here next to me. Ooh, and right next to THEM is the remote. Plus, I just heard the dryer buzzer go off. I'll pop down for a quick check on the laundry, which I really should put away before it gets wrinkly. Ah, and I do need to make a pan of Swanky cornbread for dinner. I guess the books can wait 'til tomorrow.

By the way, if anyone wants to borrow Ms. CrankyPant's Cure for Writer's Block (TM), I'll happily lend you these books, and I'll even pay for shipping! No, really, I insist.