In our ever-hopeful effort to keep the goddamn cats happy, my husband and I just shelled out a rather large amount of money for some wooden shelves. WAIT. These aren't ordinary shelves; no, sir. They are, in aggregate, a Mother-F***ing CAT SUPERHIGHWAY (MFCSH). So, obviously, they are worth the cost, no matter how exorbitant. That's what I keep telling myself (and my continually-about-to-divorce-me husband).
I saw a setup like these on Jackson Galaxy's show (which is totally
not to say what I've done here is at all endorsed by him, so please don't sue me, Mr. Galaxy). The cats on the show -- formerly implacable enemies -- were alternately lounging and cavorting on the shelves. The idea is that the MFCSH gives cats a whole new area to explore and get the hell away from each other if/when needed. Or, better yet, the MFCSH offers a new level on which the cats can race around and chase each other PLAYFULLY. At least, that was my hope. Here are a couple of the shelves after my husband spent hours painstakingly arranging them.
 |
| The colorful string is my addition -- a LURE, if you will, to get the cats up and cavorting. |
 |
| The detritus on this one is ANOTHER LURE: catnip! Who could resist? |
Okay, empty shelves aren't as good as shelves with lounging/gallivanting cats, so I'll show you the amazing MFCSH in action:
 |
Here come the cats! The arrows show you where they SHOULD be.
|
 |
| Yay! There's Squeaky! She loves the string! |
 |
| And, look -- it's Capt. Nap! "MMMMM! Is this catnip?" |
 |
| Awwww, little Peeper loves to lounge on this MFCSH shelf! |
So there you have it -- our MFCSH is a roaring success. Oh, wait -- what's this?
 |
| Why, it's Chewbacca! He's a toy I bought years ago that no one played with. He sits at the launching pad/cat tree, just under the MFCSH. What a rude comment! |
In case it isn't ABUNDANTLY clear, the cats scorn the MFCSH. In fact, here's Squeaky lazing on the couch
directly opposite the MFCSH. Yes, she's yawning in my face. Jerk.
Posts
Ha ha, what you need to do is let them play in the cardboard boxes the shelves came in, they'd love those! I'm sure in time the cats will love the shelves and will be scratching those birds off in no time at all.
ReplyDeleteYou know...I was all set to be generous and forgiving when they attacked the birds on the wall. It was going to be very BIG of me, but I was willing to make the sacrifice. -_-
DeleteI have an 8 lb bengal that would love the crap out of those and spend every waking moment on the wall. I also have a 16 lb cat that would rip those out of the wall with one jump.
ReplyDeleteI got mine one of those ridiculous cat trees (on clearance). They love it. Can't get enough of it. I'm actually surprised, since, as Joe mentioned above, they usually ignore the high price/high workload toy and go straight to the cardboard box/grocery bag.
Ugh, the boxes/bags thing is infuriating (and kind of adorable). Yet years later I am still dumb enough to buy pricey shit and think, "They will LOVE this!" There is some evil force at work; I refuse to believe I'm just really, really not smart at all.
DeleteI was cranking "Highway to Hell"! Cranking until the cats come home! But thanks for entertaining us with your folly. Really, it's the most I've laughed all day. Maybe the cats will eventually cavort? No?
ReplyDeleteAnd you've also supplied me with justification to my he'd-be-crazy-to-divorce-me husband as to why I decidedly refused to get the cat condo for our ONE cat. I fear we'd have a vacant MFCC taking up cherished space.
That is an excellent song to crank! Glad you enjoyed it, and thanks for the kind words. I am (truly) glad my folly amuses others. ("If I can make just ONE person smile, it will have all been worthwhile.") (hahahaha)
DeleteGlad you will be spared the MFCC! It would have mocked you with its vacant hidey holes and totes adorbs hammock, etc.
Cats are so unappreciative. Or at least they won't show their appreciation in front you. They probably love their new shelves but will never act like it. Hence the yawn.
ReplyDeleteIf it helps, I appreciate all the effort you two put into making them happy.
I am thrilled that you suggested they might be frolicking in the wee hours. YES, that's exactly what must be happening!! (IGNORE THE FACT THAT NOT A SHRED OF CATNIP HAS MOVED, repeat as necessary.)
DeleteWe do a lot to make them happy, yes, and it does help that you said so. Thanks!
That's such a cute cat idea! I love Chewbacca. I only have one (evil) cat (Gypsy).
ReplyDelete- Harlynn
mindyourmadness.blogspot.com
Well, one is not NEARLY enough. I'll share! Which of my three do you want? (Free overnight shipping if you take two!)
DeleteI have thought about making a cat highway for Norbert but he isn't The Ungrateful Bastard for nothing. He likes boxes. He likes a newspaper on the ground. He likes the thing off the milk jug.
ReplyDeleteI hope your cats use it eventually. There are cats in India that would appreciate all that fuss being made for them!
I've told them the cats-from-India thing a million times and they just look at me balefully. Rude!
DeleteCavorting crazy cats clambering contently causing ceiling calamity. The dog wrote the previous sentence.
ReplyDeleteGary
The dog is very articulate!!
DeleteYou had me on "CATS," darling
ReplyDeleteBrilliant Idea for Cat Lovers.
OOO, and they are SO excited! NOT! HAAaaa.
Fabulous!! xx
It IS a great idea...in theory. Mine are just clearly not smart enough to see that. Thinking of putting their food up there so they HAVE to use it to survive. They'd probably just start gnawing on my feet while I sleep, though.
DeleteWell, I, for one, think the shelves look darling even catless. So if having cats on your shelves is what you crave...dust them and put some stinkin' cute vases on them. A few books on another, and add a candle. You'll get your wish according to how breakable the vase is.
ReplyDeleteWhat a fantastic suggestion! If I KNEW what dust was (rather, if there was a speck of it in my house), I'd surely sprinkle some on the shelves and then wipe them down. I can, however, put some breakables up there. Watch this space for an update!
DeleteOmg! This is fucking amazing!
ReplyDeleteQuite a set-up. Looks like something from tv's "American Kitty Ninja Warrior." Seidfrieg & Roy are jealous. Just 10-15 more cats and we'll be watching you on a TLC program. Even Garfield thinks that's f'd up!
ReplyDeleteWelcome back. Missed you!
Yow! What a great set-up for the lazy furballs! Cats really are the laziest creatures, as no other would have bells to signal the staff! >^.^<
ReplyDelete