Monday, October 6, 2014

My Cat Has No Teeth

Poor Captain Nap. You remember--this guy:

"Why you gotta treat me so bad?"
Capt. Nap is the unfortunate victim of the feline herpes virus. (My gyno SWORE he couldn't catch it from me.) (I'm TOTALLY joking. I didn't ask my gyno.)

Okay, okay. All kidding aside, it was this little minx who gave it to him. Remember the adorable Pepper Anne?
"I'm winking at you because you think I'm healthy, but I have a hilarious secret!"
Yes, the missing-an-eye (so, not winking) Pepper Anne, who we adopted in a moment of weakness, because, you know, she's so damn cute. Anyway, we've had her for nearly a year now, and she's been the cause of:

  1. Marital discord
  2. Horrific sores in Squeaky's mouth
  3. Capt. Nap's full-mouth extraction
  4. Plenty o' good times!

Without going into too  much detail (because it involves science and medical terminology I don't really understand), Pepper Anne, who we renamed "Peeper" (get it? One eye?), has this herpes virus, which is what caused her to lose her eye before we adopted her. The other cats, not being all that particular about where/what they eat, snuffled around in the same food bowls and caught the virus from Peeper.

Squeaky was the first victim.
Squeaky guarding her favorite toy from Peeper.
Because she's black, I didn't notice at first that she'd developed a sore under her nose. By the time I saw it, it was bleeding. I raced her to the vet (after a mighty struggle to get her in the carrier), who looked in her mouth and found a bunch of ulcers. We had lots of fun medicating Squeaky! She was quarantined in our bedroom for two weeks, which she seemed to like. A lot. In fact, she still goes in there every day. It's her Peeper-free sanctuary. We finally got her outbreak under control.

That's when I noticed Capt. Nap's breath. It had gone from regular-cat gross to atrocious. As in, he'd open his mouth a crack and I'd want to flee to another house.
The captain is embarrassed that I'm detailing his bad breath.
I raced HIM to the vet. She looked in his mouth and gasped. I'm not joking. She then called in a vet tech, who looked in his mouth and also gasped. She showed me what they were gasping about (surprisingly, not his breath). His gums were an inflamed mess; bright red and sore looking. The herpes virus had manifested itself as something called stomatitis. I nodded somberly, not realizing fully the magnitude of this condition until I got home and googled it. One of the cheering articles was titled, "Cats and Stomatitis: A Condition You Wouldn't Wish on Your Worst Enemy."

So the bottom line was his immune system was rejecting his teeth. Or something like that. The best way to treat a case of stomatitis that was as bad as Capt. Nap's was to remove the worst of his teeth. We started with a dental cleaning and extraction of several teeth, in the hopes that those measures would do the trick. They didn't. Last week, I bundled Capt. Nap into his carrier for the 4,786th time this year and dropped him off at the vet so they could take out ALL of his remaining teeth. It sounds extreme, I know. But I did a lot of reading about it, and talked at length to my vet, and it seems that a full-mouth extraction is often the best way to relieve a cat's suffering. Goodness knows, I didn't want my old friend to suffer.

He's back home now and gobbling his food as if he's in a race. Even dry food! Twice a day I put out canned and dry; usually he makes a beeline for the dry. Go figure.

He's still recovering, but I can tell he feels better. He's grooming himself (something he abandoned before because it was too painful) and even seems more playful. Hooray! It's been a long and challenging year getting Peeper integrated into our household. With the help of Prozac, Squeaky is coming around (although she does get annoyed with Peeper fairly frequently). Also with the help of Prozac,* my husband no longer seems in favor of divorcing me. He did say, however, that three is the ABSOLUTE MAXIMUM.

Also, I was wondering if anyone could lend give me $38,971.95? That's my rough estimate of what I've spent on vet bills this year.
The end. (Get it?)
*J/K about my husband and Prozac. Not j/k about Squeaky and Prozac, though.




24 comments:

  1. I want to be the first to comment! In my haste to comment, I realized I don't have anything brilliant to say.

    So um, I'll say that I can barely see Squeaky's nose in that third photo. Just big round eyes.

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  2. Yeah, you can barely see her nose in person, either. So you can see why it was challenging to see a bleeding sore. Right? RIGHT? (Not that I'm feeling guilty.)

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  3. Poor, poor kitties. I'm glad Captain Nap is feeling better and eating again.

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    1. Thanks, Debra! It's been a rough year for the whole family :)

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  4. There has got to be a bad country-western song in here somewhere: "My Man Almost Left Me Cuz I Got a Cat with No Teeth, a Cat With One Eye and a Cat Who's on Drugs" --MK

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  5. I don't have anything clever to say either but I am glad all your kitties are feeling better. And that you are not getting divorced because there is a thin line between choosing husbands over cats.

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    1. Me too...and, yeahhhhhhhhhh, not sure who'd have "won" if I'd been pressed to choose (but don't tell my husband).

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  6. Oh, poor baby! Seems to be coping well without 'em though! Hopefully Peeper has nothing else to share with the fam.
    And the check's in the mail. (But don't cash it yet. I'll let ya know...)

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    1. Awesome! Wait -- I didn't even give you my address!!!!!!! Are you messing with me? :)

      Um, yeah, we are all tired of Peeper SHARING. Good thing she's so cute!

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  7. oooooooo, poor baby.
    I love those kitties so much. I love that you, thank goodness, are a cat person...cuz bad cat breath sucks & no teeth!!!!! seriously? cat hugs from MN. xxxxxxxxx

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    1. Does three cats put me into crazy cat territory? I wasn't sure...I'm going to say it's four that makes it official. Cat hugs back at you!

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  8. I remember taking my old cat Oreo in for teeth cleaning. By the time I picked him up afterwards, he had lost 14 teeth. I was appalled, they didn't even tell me what was going on. That was my first vet in this state when I first moved here. I should have known something was weird, they had a fish tank in the waiting room and in it was a large silvery fish with one eye blown up. As in, the skin and meat around his eye was shredded. And it was like that for a long long time. So it didn't look like they were going to do anything to help this fish. Cruel. I was so sick to my stomach over Oreo losing that many teeth. But he did seem to feel better afterwards. He would make the funniest expressions thereafter-- watch for those with Capt Nap!

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    1. Ugh, yeah, that vet sounds super sketchy. Poor Oreo!

      Capt. Nap was making really funny faces when he had just some of this teeth removed. He'd make a Billy Idol/Elvis-like sneer. Right now, you can't tell he's missing teeth at all. He's a trooper!

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  9. I don't know who I feel more sorry for, your husband or your cats. Sorry, only joking. Poor cats, but I couldn't help but grin.

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  10. I see that someone else already asked the question that I had while reading; whether you are considered a "cat lady." :) Cat Lady or not, you're a good Mama!

    Oh, it could be worse... it could be Ebola.

    Enjoyed your funny comment and "honesty" over at my place.

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    1. I'm sure Ebola is the next thing these cats will contract. We'll just add it to the list!

      -- Cat Lady (not crazy) (not ENTIRELY crazy)

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  11. What you won't do for your pets! I know why you're cranky.

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  12. still hurts when a toothless cat bites you lol

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    1. Fortunately, Capt. Nap hasn't attempted this yet!

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  13. I feel a little guilty about enjoying reading about Capt. Nap's ordeals. But i did... enjoy it. But it sounds awful, he's lucky you're his crazy cat lady.

    And just how does he eat his dry food without any teeth? I might need to know... for future reference.

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    1. I just told him how lucky he is...he just kept on cleaning hit butt. Charmer.

      Well, past evidence (in the form of vomit) indicates that there isn't much actual CHEWING; more inhaling whole pieces. So I think that's how it's done. Good luck!

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