Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Goodbye to a Friend I Never Met

I’ve had lots of friends over the years; friends who never knew I existed. No, not because I’m some creepy stalker or am unable to make real, live friends. The friends I’m talking about weren’t human. Hang on. Before you get alarmed, I’m not talking about aliens either. I’m talking about birds, groundhogs, chipmunks, beavers, rabbits…all of the wildlife I’ve had the good fortune to get to know by opening my eyes and noticing the natural word around me. It brings me a lot of joy to see Mumbles the chipmunk eating seeds scattered by Stumpy the sparrow at my birdfeeder. There’s Chewy the groundhog, who in warm weather I see munching on grass on a hill by my house. As I’ve moved over the years, I’m always a little sad to leave behind my “friends” who have silly names and never realized I was so happy they were living nearby.

One of the dangers of loving anything is the chance you will lose it. I lost my beloved dog Popcorn when he was 18. I have two healthy and happy cats now: Squeaky and Captain Nap. There’s another cat, too; one to which I didn’t realize how connected I was until he was gone. This little blind kitty wasn’t mine, but I am grieving for him as if he were. He was Homer the Blind Wonder Cat.

I’d been a Homer fan for a couple of years, ever since my sister gave me the book Homer’s Odyssey by Gwen Cooper. The book, the author, and Homer became instant favorites. When I saw Homer had a Facebook page, I officially became his friend, in that weird Facebook way. Gwen would write posts for Homer: funny little observations or mentions of other special-needs cats that needed a forever home. Pictures, too: Homer curled up with Gwen or sitting next to her as she worked on her laptop.

As pets do, Homer got older. Some of Gwen’s more recent posts focused on Homer’s struggles with his health. I, like thousands of his fans, suspected the time was coming, and I dreaded it. Homer had become a fixture in my life, a little like my own cats. I couldn’t pet him or play with him, but he was my friend nonetheless. On Saturday, when I heard Gwen had put Homer to sleep, I cried. I called my husband upstairs and he hugged me while I sobbed over the loss of a cat I’d never met. I cried for Homer, yes, but I cried for his “mom,” Gwen, too. As anyone who’s read Homer’s Odyssey knows, she and Homer have been through a lot together. I couldn’t imagine the pain she was feeling. If I was this sad, what must she be experiencing? It gave me some comfort (because I was kind of wondering if I was crazy) to read comments written by hundreds of Homer’s other Facebook friends who also had cried over losing him.

Gwen: thank you for sharing your little blind wonder cat with the world. Homer: thank you for being my friend. I will miss you.

30 comments:

  1. Oh dear. Perhaps I am over tired, but I have now wept for a cat I had never known at all. They wind their paws deep into our heart strings and take a piece of us with them when they leave. Which is a reflection on just how important they are. Despite the pain, I wouldn't have it any other way.

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    1. EC, I've cried several times. I "knew" him through the book and Facebook only. Something about him... Anyway, sorry to have made you cry; I promise, the book isn't sad!

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  2. Very nice, touching piece. Good old Homer... MK

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    1. Thanks. I cried AGAIN after I wrote it. That little dude really struck a chord. Thanks for giving me the book

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  3. RIP Homer.
    Pets really are like family. Hard to see them go.
    As a kid, I balled each week when Lassie was in trouble or lost. And when Lassie was hopping on three legs?...Forget about it, I was a mess!
    Great tribute!

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    1. it is hard, that's for sure. Thanks for the kind words. Next post: funny, I promise! (Well, I'll try to be funny, that is...)

      p.s. any story or movie with animals makes me instantly suspicious. I have to be sure, in advance, that they don't die!

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    2. Oh snap. The skinny one has learnt (the hard way) that if he gives me a book about animals he HAS to read the last few pages and ensure that the animal lives to the end. There have been toooooo many tears when he has failed to follow the rule.

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    3. PS: For a beautiful and heartwarming video, check out this link . Though I am sad to say that Fum has also gone to God. It is still beautiful to watch though.

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    4. You are wise to have that rule. (BTW: don't EVER watch "My Dog Skip.") That video was adorable!! Had me laughing out loud. Thank you for sharing!

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    5. p.s. love that you said "oh snap."

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  4. RIP Homer.
    Pets are family members. Hard to see them go.
    When I was a kid watching Lassie on TV, I would ball when Lassie was in trouble or lost. And when she was hopping on three legs?...Forget about it, I was a total mess!
    Excellent tribute!

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  5. Such a sad story. I welled up when reading that. I've lost two cats in the last few years and I still miss them every day.
    I buried them in our garden with their favourite toys and a sachet of cat food, wrapped in their snuggly blankets.
    I didn't know about Homer and now wish I did :-(
    x

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    1. I most heartily recommend the book Homer's Odyssey. It's not sad, promise! One of my all-time favorites.

      Yeah, sorry for the sad story. I knew a lot of you would be able to relate. Hoping Dora is keeping you excellent company and will do so for many years! (And bring you lots of decapitated...things.)

      Ms. C-Px

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  6. How very sad. I hadn't heard the news. Homer's Odyssey was such a wonderful book. I think part of the sadness comes from how well Gwen Cooper conveyed his extraordinary personality and how exuberant a cat he was, in spite of his blindness. It was hard not to feel that you really did know him, probably even more so for us with black cats of any sort in our lives. He had such a poignant survival story. Poor Gwen Cooper.

    The first time I cried for a cat I'd never met--real, painful grief--was about a year and a half ago when a Flickr contact lost her black cat who reminded me a lot of my Larry. She was always posting photos and relating stories about him. Then one day she was posting things about his death, rather unexpectedly from an illness. He was around the same age as Larry. It was way too close to home. It seemed so strange to be so grief-stricken for a cat I'd never even met, who belonged to a person I didn't really know, yet at the same time it seemed perfectly reasonable.

    PS I hope Mumbles the Chipmunk is getting a lot of seeds. Good, high quality organic seeds. ;-)

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    1. Oh, a fellow fan! It was a beautiful book. I pre-ordered her new one, Love Saves the Day, as she's donating (I think) 100 percent of the proceeds to a fund benefiting blind cats. I may have the details wrong, but I think I'm pretty close.

      Amazing, isn't it, how the death of animals we never knew can cause such grief? I really was startled by how strongly I reacted. Certainly, if they remind you of one of your own (like Larry), that can help explain it.

      Mumbles and all of the other visitors at my feeder get top-quality, shelled sunflower seeds. Not sure if they're organic, though :)

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  7. RIP Homer.....many things I become attached to on the net somehow. I will miss watching the animals outside also

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    1. Yes, RIP, Homer. There are so many cute animals online (e.g., have you seen Bacon Dog?). It's easy to get attached!

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  8. I'm going to have a look at it!
    Dora is currently fighting me for chair space. As if it was the only space to sleep in my house. Luckily she hasn't brought me any more decapitated birdies - think my screams last time must have put her off!
    x

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    1. Haha - no, no - there's ONLY the spot where you are sitting or had planned to sit. THAT'S where the cat goes. It's a law or something.

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  9. Oooo, Homer. I miss him, too, and I don't even know him. Xxx

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    1. He was an amazing little cat. [wishing I knew how to draw one of those cat faces using my keyboard]

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  10. I reacted exactly the way you did...grieving for a little cat we never met in person, but sobbing in empathy for his heartbroken person. Loved the book: one of my favorites.(Oh, and I ALWAYS read the end of an animal memoir to make sure they're alive at the end.)

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    1. It was so strange, and totally caught be by surprise. Glad to hear from fellow Homer fans.

      Thanks for writing!

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  11. I am new here. :-)

    I have grieved losses over friends that didn't know I existed, too. It seems to me that the more sensitive you are the more you connect to living things. Cats, dogs, birds, spiders and such. Maybe I think too much, I don't know. I have even grieved the loss of trees.

    So, here it to Homer and all those who loved him. xo

    And this is for you!

    ╱▔▔▔▔▔╲┈┈▕╲▂▂▂▂╱▏
    ▏╭╱▔╲▂╱┈┈┈▏╭╮┈╭╮▏
    ▏┊▏┈┈┈┈┈┈┈▏┈┈▅┈┈▏
    ╲╰▔▔▔▔╲┈┈╱╲┈╰┻╯╱
    ╱┈┈▔╲┈┈▔▔┈┈┈╱▔▔┈
    ▏┈┈┈▕▂▂┈┈┈╲┈╲┈┈┈
    ╲┈┈┈┈┈▕▂▂▂╱╲┈▔▔▔▏
    ┈▔▔▔▔▔▔┈┈┈┈┈▔▔▔▔


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    1. Birdie,

      Welcome, and thank you for the picture!! So sweet! I know what you mean about trees, actually! I think you're right about the sensitivity factor.

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    2. Stupid keyboard kept freezing...meant to add that your blog looks very funny! Anyone who works "that's what she said" into a random conversation is a kindred spirit!!

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  12. Everyone, if you like cats you can get addicted to and fall in love with on the internet and facebook (as I did most certainly with HOmer and have been crying for a week now myself...) there is CORKY and Lil Bub. Check them both out..they are SUPER inspirational, and their humans aint to shabby either!

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    1. Thanks for suggesting Corky and Lil Bub; I will check them out!!

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  13. Thank you for sharing this, very beautifully written tribute. I cried too, and still do when I think of Gwen and Homer. Every time I read someone's tribute the waterworks open up once more. I feel as if a member of my own family passed away. It is truly amazing just how small our world has become and how we are all connected. Gwen and Homer achieved so much and reached so many people that it amazes me! Rest well Homer, you are gone but not forgotten, and Gwen and her family are in our thoughts always!

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    1. Hi, Marnie, thanks for writing and the very nice comment. It is amazing how connected we've all become. These Homer tributes are heartwrenching for sure. I'm hoping they're a source of comfort for Gwen, knowing how much we all loved Homer too.

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