Tuesday, March 26, 2013

How to Party Like a Rock Star...

...is not revealed in this post, because I don't know how. I can tell you how to party like a middle-aged woman with MS who is on the Swank Diet! Hey, where are you going? Get back here, it's not that bad! Especially when you have a fantastic support system (and by that I mean people who are willing to take your diet and health seriously).

My husband gets mad props (do the kids still say that?) for helping me celebrate the big 3-0 with...wait, what's that, guys?
"Um, you are TOTALLY not 30. You're not even 40. Get real, old lady: you're 42. Now feed us! Chop chop!"
Whatever. You can believe me or the cat clowns above. Where was I? Right. My husband helped me celebrate in inimitable Swank style by making my beloved crater cakes (you can read about my efforts with this dessert here Something Looks Very, Very Wrong and here Third Time's a Charm? Welllll....), as well as a lovely homemade pizza with, yes, Tofurkey "sausage" and fat-free shredded cheese mixed with 2 tsp. of oil so it would melt. He's been doing the diet with me, which is an enormous help.

My other family members are pitching in too. My mother is making an angel food cake for my birthday this year, and my sister (the World's Pickiest Eater a Super Taster) and her family ate a Swanky meal and actually enjoyed it when I visited them recently. (The meal, not necessarily my visit.)

Per a longstanding tradition, some girlfriends and I get together in March to celebrate my and another friend's birthday. Imagine my delight when the host of this year's get-together said she'd make all Swank-approved items. I had imagined bringing a bag of carrots and nuts and watching sadly as the others wolfed down bacon and chocolate. I should have known better.

Before I go any further, I must give a shout-out to my co-celebrant for the grace with which she received the news that this was to be a Swanky party. Thank you, T., for being such a good sport! I think we both were assured by our hostess, A.,  and her already-proven cooking abilities. Now, on to the festivities. We started with some wholesome appetizers.
That's right. Wee Squeaky crashed the party.
While we happily munched on carrots and crackers, A. made chicken, mushroom, and broccoli crepes (from scratch!).

Wee Squeaky, horning in while A. tries to cook.
The poorly photographed blob in the front is actually a yummy crepe. In the background (if you can see past Wee Squeaky, attention hog) is a tasty little cucumber and tomato salad.
Who the hell knew?? The Chocolate Chiffon Cake and Marshmallow Frosting from the Swank Diet book are DAMN GOOD.
Thank you again, A. & T., for helping me celebrate my birthday Swank-style! Wait, what's that? Oh, for Pete's sake. Fine. Squeaky wants me to show you the rug from A.'s bathroom (which I visited eight - yes, count 'em - EIGHT times. Thanks, MS!).

"Look at me! Again! Aren't I cute on the rug?!"

Okay, readers, have a nice...hang on, what's that, Capt. Nap? Are you sure? Okay.... Folks, Capt. Nap wants me to show you the present he claims Real Squeaky left me for my birthday. Regardless of the feline at fault, here's a far less cute picture of *my* rug, just yesterday!

"Happy birthday, mommy! This is what you get for trying to get us to change litter boxes!"
So there. For those of you wondering how Toilet Training (Cat Edition) is going, your answer is above. Poorly. Quite poorly indeed.


  1. Your husband and friends are amazing. My family certainly wouldn't come to the party (which is why two meals get prepared at home each night) and I am not sure about my friends either.

    Bless the cats. Or do I mean kill them. One of ours twice piddled on my partner's head while he was asleep. And said partner was less than impressed to be woken by a laughing woman with the news that his head and his pillow had been defiled. I didn't mean to laugh - really I didn't. Much.
    The chocolate cake DOES look impressive. Can we have a recipe? Please.

    1. They certainly are amazing! I am very lucky. I bet your family would come once they realized how good the food can be. Right?!

      You mean kill them. Right now, I know I have to venture into the basement where the litter boxes are but am scared. Very scared. The house is beginning to smell...unpleasant. According to the Cat Genie directions, one is supposed to leave the old-fashioned litter box uncleaned until the cats get so disgusted they use the sparkling and heretofore untouched Genie. It's just a matter of waiting them out. I SO want to clean that nasty old litter box (never thought I'd think those precise words!). Anyway, good thing I'm not expecting any company.

      Your wish is my command. Recipe for Chocolate Chiffon cake:


      For Marshmallow Icing (damn, lazy me can't find a link so will have to type it out!):

      2 egg whites
      1C light corn syrup
      1/8 tsp. salt
      1 tsp. vanilla

      Combine first 3 ingredients in top of a double boiler. Place over rapidly boiling water and cook, beating constantly for 7 minutes until frosting stands in peaks. Remove from heat and add vanilla, beating well. Yields icing for two 8-in. layers.

  2. Yay, I'm famous! And still laughing at Nap & Squeak's commentary.

    P.S. Perfect that you tagged this one "poo on rug."

    1. Rightly so, Amy! (By the way, people should *really* check out your blog -- just click on Amy's name, above -- to see the incredible things you make.)

      Those cats better be amusing, for all the litter box nonsense they're subjecting me to. Cat Genie, indeed.

  3. Fantastic post! So glad you had a great time and your family sound lovely. Absolutely adored Wee Squeaky getting in on the action. Cheered me up. Missing my son - he left for London a couple of hours ago and the house is way too quiet without him. Sniff.
    Hey ho, there's ice cream in the freezer....

    1. Thanks, SIF! Yes, my family and friends are wonderful.

      Wee Squeaky is always getting in on the action. She loves the attention...I'm creating a monster.

      Hope the ice cream helped you feel a bit better?

  4. It sure did. It's lovely to have ice cream in the freezer when son's away, lol. It doesn't magically disappear!

  5. Sounded like a true birthday feast!
    Despite looking like a "blob", I'll bet those crepes were good!
    Happy belated B-day.

    1. Yep, the big 3-0. Thanks!

      And, photography skillz notwithstanding, the crepes were good!

  6. Hope you had a great birthday! I'm DEFINITELY going to have to try the chocolate chiffon cake with marshmallow frosting. Sounds lush! :)

    1. Thanks, Chloe! The birthday was great. And you MUST try the cake. The host of our party was nice enough to give me the leftovers, which I finished in short order, barely sharing with my husband!

  7. Happy belated! I'm glad you had a good one. (And I love that rug!)

    If it makes you feel any better, I'm turning four years older than you this month. Heh heh. One of the upsides of being neurologically impaired.... My doctor mentioned that I was 45 recently. I protested, "Oh no! That's next year!" It only dawned on me later what year I'd been born, and what year it was now, and that, indeed, I'd turned 45 last year. But had forgotten I'd had that birthday.

    Happy belated 30-something!

  8. Thanks! Turning 30-ish was traumatic indeed. BOY do I feel old. So glad it wasn't, say, my 42nd birthday or anything.

    That rug is adorable. I kept cooing over it, but my rude hostess Amy didn't give it to me when I left. (And now, with this post revealing the carpet poo, I think my chances are much slimmer that I'll get my paws on it.)

    p.s. I often have to stop and think...how old am I?? Ugh. It's fresh now, since I just had a birthday, but give it a few months!

    1. Yes, very good you aren't 42 yet.

      And, indeed, how very rude of your host not to give you her rug! Geesh. No manners.

      I laugh about it, but I must say, it was actually quite unnerving to realize I'd had a birthday I couldn't remember having had and didn't know how old I was.

    2. It IS unnerving! (And, naturally, makes me wonder if I have early onset Alzheimer's...oh, the fun of being a hypochondriac!)