How to Party Like a Rock Star...

...is not revealed in this post, because I don't know how. I can tell you how to party like a middle-aged woman with MS who is on the Swank Diet! Hey, where are you going? Get back here, it's not that bad! Especially when you have a fantastic support system (and by that I mean people who are willing to take your diet and health seriously).

My husband gets mad props (do the kids still say that?) for helping me celebrate the big 3-0 with...wait, what's that, guys?

"Um, you are TOTALLY not 30. You're not even 40. Get real, old lady: you're 42. Now feed us! Chop chop!"

Whatever. You can believe me or the cat clowns above. Where was I? Right. My husband helped me celebrate in inimitable Swank style by making my beloved crater cakes (you can read about my efforts with this dessert here Something Looks Very, Very Wrong and here Third Time's a Charm? Welllll....), as well as a lovely homemade pizza with, yes, Tofurkey "sausage" and fat-free shredded cheese mixed with 2 tsp. of oil so it would melt. He's been doing the diet with me, which is an enormous help.

My other family members are pitching in too. My mother is making an angel food cake for my birthday this year, and my sister (the World's Pickiest Eater a Super Taster) and her family ate a Swanky meal and actually enjoyed it when I visited them recently. (The meal, not necessarily my visit.)

Per a longstanding tradition, some girlfriends and I get together in March to celebrate my and another friend's birthday. Imagine my delight when the host of this year's get-together said she'd make all Swank-approved items. I had imagined bringing a bag of carrots and nuts and watching sadly as the others wolfed down bacon and chocolate. I should have known better.

Before I go any further, I must give a shout-out to my co-celebrant for the grace with which she received the news that this was to be a Swanky party. Thank you, T., for being such a good sport! I think we both were assured by our hostess, A.,  and her already-proven cooking abilities. Now, on to the festivities. We started with some wholesome appetizers.

That's right. Wee Squeaky crashed the party.

While we happily munched on carrots and crackers, A. made chicken, mushroom, and broccoli crepes (from scratch!).

Wee Squeaky, horning in while A. tries to cook.

The poorly photographed blob in the front is actually a yummy crepe. In the background (if you can see past Wee Squeaky, attention hog) is a tasty little cucumber and tomato salad.

Who the hell knew?? The Chocolate Chiffon Cake and Marshmallow Frosting from the Swank Diet book are DAMN GOOD.

Thank you again, A. & T., for helping me celebrate my birthday Swank-style! Wait, what's that? Oh, for Pete's sake. Fine. Squeaky wants me to show you the rug from A.'s bathroom (which I visited eight - yes, count 'em - EIGHT times. Thanks, MS!).

"Look at me! Again! Aren't I cute on the rug?!"

Okay, readers, have a nice...hang on, what's that, Capt. Nap? Are you sure? Okay.... Folks, Capt. Nap wants me to show you the present he claims Real Squeaky left me for my birthday. Regardless of the feline at fault, here's a far less cute picture of *my* rug, just yesterday!

"Happy birthday, mommy! This is what you get for trying to get us to change litter boxes!"

So there. For those of you wondering how Toilet Training (Cat Edition) is going, your answer is above. Poorly. Quite poorly indeed.