Tuesday, February 19, 2013

A Bad Trip, Man

I'm going to take you on a little trip. A little trip somewhere bad. For those of you trying to guess, no, it's not Chuck-E-Cheese, the grocery store on a Sunday morning, or the women's bathroom at my former workplace. Please see below for proof that the aforementioned women's bathroom was, indeed, a disaster and likely biohazard:

I'd expect this in a men's bathroom, but ladies, come on! 
Instead, I'm taking you INSIDE MY BRAIN. I was inspired to write this after reading a column in the New York Times by Woody Allen, which was referred to by Gene Weingarten in the Washington Post. I'm assuming most of you know who Woody Allen is. (Oh, dear, this reminds me of something I had blocked: a coworker once told me I reminded him of Woody Allen. I think it was Mr. Allen's mannerisms; God help me it if was his looks. I chose not to seek clarification.) Gene Weingarten, for those of you who don't know, is a writer -- a very funny writer -- who happens to be a hypochondriac.

Reading about hypochondriacs this morning made me realize I have a special little section of whack-o in my brain that's different from what Mr. Allen described. He mentioned racing to the doctor at the first sign of something amiss. I have the exact opposite reaction: studiously avoiding the doctor until either (a) something becomes physically unbearable or (b) I am worrying about it so much that I'm a hot mess, as the young whippersnappers say these days. At least, they were saying it the last time I checked. Word!

That I have freakish levels of doctor-related fears is a given. But I'm curious about you. Some of you have said you relate to my panic at noting a new symptom. When you experience something weird, do you go to the doctor right away? Or do you stew, bury your head in the sand, and worry like I do? I hope not, as it's an incredibly unproductive way to respond, especially when you have MS and a new symptom practically every other day. But since this blog has introduced me to so many people in my boat, I'm very interested in learning how you, my new friends, cope.

To your physical and mental health!
Ms. CrankyPants

25 comments:

  1. I'm not so scared of any new MS symptoms. But I AM a little crazy for germs. Especially when snotty-nosed kids are sneezing & spewing around me. I just wanna soak in a tub of anti-bacterial goo!
    Not quite as bad as Howard Hughes, but I do open doors & flush in public bathrooms with tissue covering my hands.

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    1. Sock,

      I keep picturing you in public bathrooms with that old athletic sock covering your hand. Probably more reliable than tissue! Just something to consider...

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  2. I really will only go to the doc if I think a symptom could mean death, like chest pains, peeing blood, or gasping for air. I have been known on more than one occasion to ignore the latter symptom until I am turning blue.

    I also refuse to use public restrooms unless I am sure I will explode at any minute. I carry and use hand sanitizer(constantly) when out in public places, and Lysol wipes are my best friend at home and away!

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    1. That's very interesting, Karen. It reminded me that I *have* been known to make an appointment ASAP: e.g., for the Highly Suspicious Mole and, not too long ago, for some troubling heart palpitations. So if I think there's something going on that could indicate immediate death (heart palps) or a relatively easy fix (mole), I'll go. It's those in-between symptoms that mess me up. I have a giant fear of cancer and a slow, agonizing death. So anything I think *might* be cancer, I avoid, avoid, avoid. Not a sound practice (and, really, I think just about everything is a Sign of Cancer), but there you have it.

      Public restrooms are a horror. Don't even get me started on port-a-potties. And there's the whole fun of having MS and increased need to, well, pee. In my case, it's a ratio of about 5 trips to the restroom for every 8 oz. drink.

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    2. p.s. Is the gasping for air MS related? Sounds so scary!! I'm on Copaxone, which has the 15% (or so) chance of resulting in the Immediate Post-Injection Reaction, which sounds dreadful. Many people report massive chest pain and a near-inability to breathe. Fun, fun, fun!

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    3. No, the gasping for air has been pneumonia, which I get at least 3 times a year.

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    4. Holy &$*^#! Three+ times a year sounds dreadful... I'm sorry to hear that.

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  3. Ever since I used to pick bubble gum off the ground and eat it (I was a child....), I'm quite cavalier about my germy-health. Which probably isn't very good now I've got MS, but touch wood, I don't seem to pick up any infections or colds/flu.
    BUT! I can have a random jerking on my leg and tie myself up in knots thinking, OMG, a relapse, progression, wheelchair, death.
    I think now I'm getting older too (and have started peering closely at labels - meh), the days of being carefree are deserting me. Things are starting to slowly fall apart.
    I do think MS can make anyone into a hypochondriac - we analyse our health sooooo closely, looking for new symptoms.
    Anyway, I'm off for my monthly Alemtuzumab blood test (every month for five years...). Still hate needles.
    X

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    1. SIF,

      I think if the gum looks fresh and is on a relatively clean street, it's fine. No need for shame (or the "I was a child" coverup). :)

      Actually, you probably built a massive immune system resistant to cold/flu germs!

      MS is great for the budding hypochondriac. I was already well versed in it when I was diagnosed. (My skills must not be as sharp as I thought, though, since I diagnosed myself as having carpal tunnel; MS never entered my mind.) For the total freaked-out hypo, like me, having MS in a sick way is actually kind of good. I can say, "Oh, peeing blood and having chest pains [see Karen't comment, above]? It's just the MS. No need to fret!"

      What is this mysterious-sounding blood test? Is the medication you're on called Alemtuzumab? Is it a pill? I take an injection daily - meh.

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  4. Caught red-handed! I also pick up pennies when I see them for luck...

    Part of the pay-off for signing up for Alemtuzumab (Campath) was that I agree to monthly blood tests for FIVE years, meh. It's not a pill, just a five day infusion that takes out the immune system so when it re-boots it doesn't have nasty t-cells. Or something.

    I've got my next infusion in July - funnily enough just wrote tomorrow's blog post about it! I was offered Campath or Tysabri, but didn't fancy the monthly infusion thing and Campath had better results. So far, so good.

    Not many people have had it for MS. It's currently only licensed for leukaemia, but my hospital was part of the trial and they gave me it on a compassionate basis as I've got highly active MS.

    But my nurse who takes the blood test is lovely and now gives me a hug when I see her and tells me all about her divorce, bless her.

    X

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    1. Haha! I was out to lunch with a friend Sunday and actually scraped a filthy penny off the back of a dirty bench. I'll either have good luck or a flesh-eating virus...

      I didn't realize your MS case was highly active. :(
      That sucks, SIF. I hope the infusions do their job. Are there side effects? So glad to hear you have a nice nurse, though.

      XOXO

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  5. Yup, apparently I had way more lesions than expected on my second scan (see - I TOLD them I was having relapse after relapse and they didn't believe me!!!!!).

    Side effects (as far as they know) are a 1 in 3 chance of having a thyroid problem, blood problems (hence monthly blood count) and lowered immunity, well no immunity for a couple of months afterwards.
    I weighed it all up, bit of a risk, but the alternative was probably ending up in a wheelchair within 5 years, the way I was going. At least now, although I still have the same symptoms, I haven't had a relapse, so no new symptoms and no progression.

    All rather depressing!

    The whole MS team here is lovely, lucky to live in an area with lots of MS nurses, OT, neuros, etc. Not everyone so lucky I guess. I only live round the corner from the hospital!

    Anyway, I have a lovely bar of chocolate, the teenager is at footie practice and I have taped 'The Painted Veil' so I can watch Naomi Watts die of cholera.....

    Oh, and I had a lovely Indian head massage today - bliss!
    X

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    1. Seems worth the risk, yes. Glad to hear there has been no progression - yay! I do hope the symptoms will abate with time.

      Your afternoon of a head massage, chocolate, movie, and P&Q while the teenager away sounds lovely. I'm very jealous.

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  6. Yup, hopefully! And touch wood, am stable right where I am. Most annoying problems are fatigue, foot drop, word finding (ironic, huh?), and balance.
    I had a luverly time yesterday. I now have a new bar of Cadbury's Bubbly chocolate for this evening. Studying is all done til Saturday and I am off to IKEA tomorrow to buy a filing cabinet. Oh, my life is just sooooo exciting!
    x
    p.s. we wanna see more of Wee Squeaky....
    p.p.s. My Wee Bubble just might make a guest appearance soon...

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  7. Word! (That's what the kids said in America 5 - 7 years ago to indicate agreement -- I think. Tell the Teenager so he can be super retro hip when he arrives. Better yet, you can say it and embarrass him endlessly! It makes my husband cringe, so I use fairly frequently.)

    Your wish re: Wee Squeaky is my command! I have her all set up to appear in my next post (today, if I get my sh!t together; so, more likely, tomorrow). I am very excited to hear Wee Bubble might make an appearance!!

    p.s. relating totally to fatigue, foot drop, word finding, and balance issues. Delightful.

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  8. Totally Word, man! I will tell him. I tried to be hip earlier and dance the Harlem Shuffle that everyone's doing. He sighed and walked away. I also say 'mint' for 'good'. He hates me doing it.
    Teenager now in shower after coming home covered in mud, again, from rugby match. He has eaten 5 pancakes, two yoghurts and a pie. Then he will have dinner with me.
    x
    p.s. he asked me to buy him maple syrup as 'all the Americans eat it and I have to start practicing'. Gotta love him.

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  9. oops, didn't mean to publish as blogger, meant to publish as this...

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    1. Wizard! I used to read Enid Blyton books where (I think) the kids would say that a lot (and drink ginger beer, which sounded exciting).

      The Teenager is absolutely right: we eat maple syrup constantly. In fact, I'm eating some now. It's mint.

      Haha -- Harlem Shuffle. I vaguely remember a really bad Rolling Stones song by that name in the late 80s? Early 90s? That dance, or is there some new dance sweeping the nation I should know about?

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  10. Oh, it's some new thing apparently - I'm told to look on youtube to learn how to do it correctly. I'm soooooo old.
    Lashings and lashings of ginger beer! I loved The Faraway Tree too, with Moonface (which is what I now call myself during steroid treatment...).
    The Teenager is driving me mad banging on about America. Chucky something Cheese, Abercrombie and Fitch, maple syrup, steak for breakfast. Our trip next year will cost me an absolute fortune.
    However! I have found a fab hotel right on Times Square with a huge entertainment complex attached to it. The builder may come with his two kids too, for moral support.
    X

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  11. God, I feel really, really old now. It's the harlem SHAKE, not shuffle. You were right. Meh.
    Youtube harlem shake and you'll see what the Teenager does all over the house, like a demented thing....
    x

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    1. I googled it (after giggling at you saying Harlem Shake vs. Shuffle; that's such an embarrassing mom thing to do) and my computer popped up a screen that said this:

      "You are too old to google this. Go away and play canasta."

      Haha. Not really. I saw it (or a version of it). My goodness, it's quite a, er, dance!

      Your trip sounds great! I'm sure there will be many amusing Reports from the Road.

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    2. It's very rude I think, but thankfully he just does the shake bit from the middle, otherwise the neighbours might talk. They all do it. Even when his friends come over, they suddenly burst into it. It's very odd.
      And yes, I am a mum to the core. How old am I??????? Almost as embarrassing as the time I held my own New Year's Eve party as a teenager and my mum decided to show us her version of a Madonna dance, the one where she has that conical bra on. Not cool.
      Hey ho. I'm off to read Saga magazine and dye my hair grey.
      Very much looking forward to our American trip, even if the Teenager seems to think it will be like an extended version of Friends. Bless him.
      X

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  12. We horsewomen NEVER go to the doctor unless something is on the verge of falling off LOL. As you know, though, I am a bit of a hypochondriac myself, so I am constantly imagining what the doc would tell me if I bothered to go! I feel pretty sure that my sudden, tragic death will somehow be horse-related, even if I also turn out to have a brain tumor, though.

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    1. Equutopia, I hope you do not meet your end for a good long time, but when you do, a tragic horse-related ending would be much more fitting than a brain tumor!

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