I know what you're thinking: the word "VEST" belongs nowhere near a sentence also containing the words "fashion" and "icon" (unless that sentence is "Former self-proclaimed and widely disputed fashion icon Ms. CrankyPants was found in a drunken, disheveled state, covered in her own feces and, tragically, wearing a soiled plaid vest.").
Clearly, I need to explain. As probably all of you with MS know, summertime heat is a bitch. It can make us sluggish, cranky, and weak. Oh, wait -- that's me on a normal day! No, seriously, folks, the heat is terrible when you have MS. Everyone's experiences are different, but I have:
- nearly passed out (actual MEDICS were called; super embarrassing)
- had ringing in my ears
- felt weak to the point of having trouble walking
- experienced double vision
All of these symptoms are temporary, thank god, but any one of them can make going outside when it's hot suck. ENTER THE COOL VEST! Yes, such a garment exists. And it's literally a vest that provides cooling relief from the crappy sun! How does this little miracle occur? It depends on the vest, as I learned. In an completely unbiased fashion (see what I did there?), I will share the high- and low-lights of two varieties so you can decide if a cool vest is for you!
First, some questions:
- Are you comfortable being the center of attention?
- Are you a fan of Steve Irwin (RIP)?
- Do you love the "Safari Look"?
- Would you be okay with being detained for wearing what appears to be suicide-bomber attire?
If you answered YES to any of these questions, have I got a cool vest for you!
|Ta-da! Let's go to a swanky outdoor party!|
|It's fun to wrestle with twisted, frozen blocks of ice!|
|Not ENTIRELY the ice blocks' fault that I have a minuscule freezer, but I blame them anyway.|
|TMHTIEWOP with packs (can't account for the gray blobby thing, which I must have tucked into one of the pockets in a fugue state brought on by extreme heat or embarrassment).|
Summer is rolling around again, and I was displeased at the idea of relying on TMHTIEWOP to get me through outdoor events. Then! A revelation! I used this thing called "google" to look up alternatives. Guess what? There is more than one variety of cooling vest on the planet! I must have known this at one point (like, when I bought the first one), but perhaps I was unsure that I'd use it, so I opted for one of the more budget-friendly vests. Whatever. The point is -- there's actually an ATTRACTIVE cooling vest you can find using "google."
|This is the back side (hahahaha). Seriously, if you have to wear one, how cute is that?|
|Look at it! LOOK AT IT!!!!|
|The front is pretty utilitarian, but the belt thingy gives one a shape that actually resembles a human body.|
|They look like large-ish ravioli, but their official name is CoolPak.|
Oh! And the Cooling Vest With Graphic variety (the hummingbird is one of several designs) comes with a free cooling headband!
|This looks...inappropriate (oh, it's just me?!). But here's the CoolPak being inserted into the headband.|